Thursday, 20 November 2008

Strictly Scrum Dancing

In a remarkable case of real life mirroring reality TV, veteran rugby player Total Flanker looks set to quit playing for Chesham Vets because he fears there is a real risk that he could score a try.

After a two games this season in which he was denied tries, firstly by a last gasp tackle and then by a myopic referee - incidents which prompted a national debate on the injustice of it all - TF has indicated to vague acquaintances that that he is ready to call it quits after analysing the balance of probabilities.

"It all started off as a bit of of a laugh," the overweight backrower said today. "But there's a real chance that I might actually score a try soon and that we might win a game, both of which would be a joke too far."

The nation's online message boards lit up with complaints after today's news as the public voiced their suspicions that TF has fallen victim to people taking rugby far too seriously.

"I am very angry about this," said one poster. "Watching TF huffing and puffing around the field and messing up try-scoring opportunities is simply hilarious."

Fans of the portly 44 year old breakaway need not despair, however, as he is committed to giving a "farewell performance" away against Tring 4ths this weekend.

"It's the least I could do to give my many fans one last giggle," he admitted.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

what! your not really quiting are you?

BigDai said...

If some as crocked at Johnny is hoping to make it 40
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/english/7740827.stm
You can make it to your 60's, easily