Friday, 24 April 2009

Flanker distraught by Lions omission

In an emotional outburst from his home in Hertfordshire, Total Flanker today confessed that he was "devastated" by his omission from Ian McGeechan's British & Irish Lions squad to tour South Africa this summer.

The veteran backrower had been tipped by those in the know as a possible "bolter" for the squad following his unprecedented (and never-to-be-repeated) three-try haul last month against Datchworth 4th XV. Despite TF telling all and sundry about how brilliantly he played that day, it appears that McGeechan has chosen to snub TF's talents in favour of those of Alan Quinlan and Andy Powell, amongst others.

Having also missed out on the 1983, 1989, 1993, 1997, 2001, and 2005 Lions tours, TF was visibly upset when questioned about his omission from the 2009 squad...

"I admit that a place on the Lions trip had been on my mind all season," the portly breakaway forward sobbed today. "The whole season has been geared towards me reaching a mental and physical peak in time for the tour. At 44 this might be my last chance to make a Lions squad. I can even do a passable Irish accent."

Despite the fact that the Lions selectors wouldn't know a decent backrow specialist if it bit them on the arse, TF is still hopeful of being called up for duty in the event of injury...

"I've started playing touch rugby again at Chesham," he commented. "And I'll be drinking myself silly at the club dinner in a couple of weeks to ensure that I'm up to speed on the social aspects of touring."

Ian McGeechan was unavailable for comment.

1 comment:

michael said...

Total class TF. Very funny :-)