Sunday, 5 September 2010
Another player comes out
"It's true," he said. "I've been living a lie all these years, pretending to be funny and interesting when really all I yearned for was a quiet beer in front of the telly.
"I know I'm letting down many people who think of me as the life and soul of the party but my secret life has been tearing me apart and I just can't keep up the pretence.
"It was obviously a huge shock to my wife and family who had no idea. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt them but they have been amazingly supportive."
The overweight loose forward hopes going public will inspire other rugby dullards to come out of the closet and has been encouraged by the reaction of current and former playing colleagues who appear to have taken the news in their stride.
"Fair play to him, I always suspected he was a boring bastard," a former team mate responded when told of the news.