The Buckinghamshire Home for Rugby Waifs and Strays today issued a statement denying that it had signed a contract to add the artist formerly known as Gavin Church to its list of inmates this season. This, despite a report in The Times to the contrary which suggested that the unfeasibly tanned fame junkie had agreed a deal to check in at High Wycombe upon finishing his commitments to the world of ballroom dancing.
According to our orange friend, the only reason he is donning the sequins rather than lacing up the boots this autumn has been the inability of his solicitors to extract him from his current contract with his more-than-generous employers, the Hairsprays. Nothing to do with his rampant desire for celebrity then.
Meanwhile, it appears that the media furore surrounding the WRU's choice to model the new Wales rugby kit this week has resulted in sales being 100% up on the equivalent kit launched two years ago. Apparently the media coverage has been estimated to have been worth some £2m in publicity. Happy to have played my part, obviously (the invoice is in the post).
And finally, and perhaps most importantly, the Mirror reports that, owing to a lack of female company since his split from Miss Voice of an Angel in May, the "Wales rugby hunk" is concerned that he might 'get aroused' when getting up close and personal to his dance partner during Strictly. The only solution, as far as I can see, is to pair him with Anne Widdicombe.