Friday, 17 September 2010
Fish out of water
In reply to an email request for help from parents I had foolishly said that I was "happy to help when available."
What I meant, of course, was that I'd be happy to give the occasional lift, or put out a few cones, or collect the training bibs etc. What I obviously had not envisaged is that I might be put in charge of 12 kids all wanting to play centre forward.
Despite nearly arriving late to a school field in deepest, darkest Hemel Hempstead (I really must get sat nav) I somehow managed, with help of another press-ganged dad, to organise, in the loosest sense of the word, the boys into a team of seven (with 5 subs at half time) all with a notional position to play in theory. It was all going rather swimmingly, I thought. And then we kicked off.
Any instructions issued prior to kick off were of course instantly forgotten as my players gave into their swarming instincts and my increasingly desperate pleas from the touchline were mostly ignored. Had it been rugby I might have been able at least to offer some relatively constructive advice. As it was not rugby, however, my advice amounted to little more than "oi you, mark him, no not him, HIM!"
Being Under 8s we are forbidden by the FA from publishing the result (thank goodness). Suffice to say that we came second although, to be fair, had any scrums been awarded I reckon we'd have had the upper hand.
I doubt Mr Capello will be losing much sleep...