Friday, 17 September 2010

Fish out of water

I found myself in alien territory last weekend as somehow I ended up as caretaker manager of my son's Under 8s football team.

In reply to an email request for help from parents I had foolishly said that I was "happy to help when available."

Schoolboy error!!

What I meant, of course, was that I'd be happy to give the occasional lift, or put out a few cones, or collect the training bibs etc. What I obviously had not envisaged is that I might be put in charge of 12 kids all wanting to play centre forward.

Despite nearly arriving late to a school field in deepest, darkest Hemel Hempstead (I really must get sat nav) I somehow managed, with help of another press-ganged dad, to organise, in the loosest sense of the word, the boys into a team of seven (with 5 subs at half time) all with a notional position to play in theory. It was all going rather swimmingly, I thought. And then we kicked off.

Any instructions issued prior to kick off were of course instantly forgotten as my players gave into their swarming instincts and my increasingly desperate pleas from the touchline were mostly ignored. Had it been rugby I might have been able at least to offer some relatively constructive advice. As it was not rugby, however, my advice amounted to little more than "oi you, mark him, no not him, HIM!"

Being Under 8s we are forbidden by the FA from publishing the result (thank goodness). Suffice to say that we came second although, to be fair, had any scrums been awarded I reckon we'd have had the upper hand.

I doubt Mr Capello will be losing much sleep...


John Birch said...

Could have been worse. You could have been told to referee.

As a slight career change has tuned me into a supply teacher who majors in PE, I have found myself having to do this on a few occasions and it has done nothing to improve my view of the game of "soccer", as it is now played.

I initially tried to referee it as it was when I was at school in the 70s - apparently its changed a bit. These days its a non-contact sport where arguing with referees is compulsory.

It truly is a stupid game...

Black Panthers - Uganda said...

Well said John. I completely agree with your last line.

Frederic said...

Time for revenge !!