Saracens director of rugby Brendan Venter today announced that he was about to make a sensational new signing.
The new face at Vicarage Road will not, however, be Gavin Henson, despite the Welshman training with the squad this week.
“Gav had a fantastic session with us and was well-received by the squad,” said Venter. “I would be happy to sign him but we've been unable to reach agreement with the Ospreys and negotiations with the BBC have proved particularly complex.
"So instead, and on Gav's recommendation, we've decided to sign Peter Andre. He has the pecs, the abs, the fake tan and a famous ex-WAG, pretty much everything that Gav would have brought to the table really. We're delighted to welcome him to the Sarries squad."
Although ostensibly Venter was hoping to sign Henson as fly-half cover for the injured Derick Hougaard, it is understood that Andre will initially be expected cover for pop duo Right Said Fred by performing the club's anthem "Stand Up for the Saracens" prior to home matches.
Despite the contractual difficulties and the requirement to get dispensation from Premier Rugby to exceed the salary cap, it is believed that Venter has not given up hope of pairing Andre and Henson together for a 'dream team' Paso Doble ahead of his team's encounter with London Wasps at Wembley in December.