Monday, 21 March 2011

6 Nations 2011 - Chumps

OK, hot on the heels of having given credit where it's due, here's a cold, hard and mostly unfair appraisal of those who, in my humble opinion, failed to pull up trees during the last 7 weeks:

15. Lee Byrne – now plays rugby in his plimsolls, judging by his inability to keep his feet.

14. Chris Ashton – re-defined wing play in rugby union (yeah, right) before proceeding to butcher chance after chance. Needs to grow up and lose the ridiculous dive.

13.  Matt Bananaman - not an international centre. Not even a centre.

12. Nick Le Luca – even less of an international centre than Bananaman. Actually, even less of an international centre than I am!

11. Yoann Huget – I know it served Ben Cohen well, but being a big lump simply isn’t enough.

10. Dan Parks – game changing substitute at Twickenham, the problem being that he changed the game in England’s favour.

9. Ben Youngs – harsh perhaps, but utterly lost the plot in Dublin when it mattered the most. Mike Phillips a close 2nd.

1. Andrew Sheridan – the strongest man on the planet but as delicate as a hummingbird with osteoporosis.

2. Ross Ford – handed off by Ronan O’Gara. That’s Ronan O’Gara. Nuff said.

3. Euan Murray – religious beliefs now mean that he apparently only scrummages on a Tuesday between 3.00 and 4.00 am.

4. Julian Pierre – what is the point of him, exactly?

5. Simon Shaw – so far past his sell by date that even the local corner shop would refuse to stock him.

6. Nathan Hines – in no way, shape or form is this man a backrow player

7. John Barclay – managed to talk Roman Poite into giving him a yellow card at Twickenham.

8. Sebastien Chabal’s Waxwork Dummy. Need I say more?


anne bebbington said...

Love it - so right! My absolute favourite moment of the 6N regardless of all the glory moments - and there were plenty in amongst the dross - was Chabal not daring to peer through his fingers as Mirco lined up for that match winning kick - Oh how the mighty fall :)

Steve Munford said...

Not sure Chris Ashton should be in there having equalled the 6 Nations try record (although I agree his form did drop off considerably after the Italy game). I would agree with all the others apart from maybe John Barclay, I thought he had a solid tournament.

Anonymous said...

You have put the top try scorer in your worst team of the competition? In what way exactly was he worse than, I don't know, Nicky Walker, Morgan Stoddart, Mirco Bergamasco (kicking against France aside) even Shane Williams? Did you see how bad Tommy Bowe was against Scotland or is all that forgotten now that Ireland have a win? Ashton is a recent convert to union and still has some experience to gain, but what a talent we have there. Let's encourage it for god's sake instead of this rubbish.

Apart from Chabal, your list is total utter risible nonsense.

Total Flanker said...

Dear Mr Anonymous - Total utter risible nonsense? Thank you, I'm not sure I could put it better myself.

Anonymous said...

You're welcome. Here is a sensible list of six nations chumps from someone who actually watched the matches -

Total Flanker said...

Hmmm...and yet that team shares 7 players with my selection...:)

Nursedude said...

I am still in amazement at just how far Chabal has fallen.

He was totally non-existent for France against England and Italy. Looks like his interational career is done for sure.

RedYeti said...

The difference between TF's team and the BloodandMud one is that TF reacted very strongly to a poor English/great Irish performance and threw a few undeserving Englishmen in...

Anonymous said...

Er..6 in common actually. The ones you had that he didnt would make the core of a bloody good team - Sheridan, Murray, Pierre, Shaw, Hines, Barclay, Youngs, Ashton, Lee Byrne

Total Flanker said...

Err, I don't wish to sound pedantic but - Ford, Hines, Chabal, Parks, De Luca, Banahan, Huget.

Last time I counted that = 7.

Look, don't disagree with you - the players you list would make the basis of a very good team, but for one (not necessarily rational)reason or another they disappointed me during the 6N.

It's all about opinion.

It's just that my opinion is the right one! :)