Monday, 28 March 2011

Back to reality

Dear all,

Please accept my humble apologies. This blog has been far too focussed lately on the frivolity of Six Nations rugby and has entirely neglected to bring you the serious issues that really matter.

Up the duff
One such issue is, of course, the ground-breaking news that Ms Kelly Brook - model, actress (of sorts) and former other half of Melbourne Rebel Danny Cipriani – announced earlier this month that she is expecting a baby with current beau, ex-Scotland wing Thom Evans.

The news comes just over three months into the couple’s “whirlwind romance” which, together with the fact that the couple remain unmarried and the fact that Evans is still unemployed (after his forced retirement from he game with a serious neck injury), is an absolute scandal (stop sniggering, this is serious). No doubt single mum Ms Brook will now be expecting to be provided with a council flat and benefits at the great British taxpayer’s expense while Mr Evans, whose neck injury obviously doesn’t affect him in the trouser department, will be off fecklessly sowing his seed elsewhere on the estate. It’s the baby I feel sorry for. I mean, what sort of start in life will the little mite have with only a model and movie star and former international rugby player for parents?

While Mr Cipriani is, depending upon which tabloid one subscribes to, either “really happy for her” or “heartbroken and in despair,” perhaps the most telling contribution to the debate comes from serial reality TV fodder Kerry Katona who believes that Ms Brook may have become pregnant “too soon.” I kid you not.

Yours sincerely,
Outraged of Tunbridge Wells.

cc The Daily Mail

1 comment:

Nursedude said...

If it's physical, it's therapy...maybe he should have stuck to the Bosu or Swiss ball?