Monday, 19 March 2012

Six Nations 2012 - Champs & Chumps

Another 6 Nations has come and gone in the blink of an eye. Congratulations to Wales - a deserved Grand Slam.

And, in accordance with tradition, here's my utterly biased, one-eyed and partial assessment of who set the tournament alight and those who pissed on its fireworks...

Champs

15. Rob Kearney - Ireland's best player by a country mile. Honourable mentions for Leigh ½ p and Stuart Hogg, a Scottish back who can actually score tries.
14. Alex Cuthbert - the young Englishman looks a fine prospect :) .
13. Jonathan Davies – wonderfully balanced and powerful centre. Manu Tuilagi a close second.
12. Wesley Fofana – almost Guscott-like and utterly wasted on the wing by France.
11. George North – immense set of performances from the young Englishman :)
10. Owen Farrell – not the finished article but mentally as tough as nails.
9. Mike Phillips – I hate to admit it, but he played rather well.
1. Alex Corbisiero – just gets better and better. Closely pushed by Jean-Baptiste Poux.
2. Dylan Hartley – destruction of Irish front row a fitting finale.
3. Dan Cole - even better than Adam Jones at the moment – nuff said.
4. Ian Evans –  unsung hero. Quietly effective.
5. Richie Gray – astonishingly good, young and massive. Shoe-in for Lions next year.
6. Dan Lydiate – consistent excellence from the young Englishman :) . Not much between him and Stephen Ferris.
7. Justin Tipuric – Warburton's good but he appears to be made of glass. This bloke looks very special indeed. Ross Rennie also worth a mention.
8. Ben Morgan – what, a dynamic England no 8 with pace and good hands? My word.

Chumps

15. Clément Poitrenaud – when faced with the prospect of tackling he displayed all the moral fibre of a cheese eating surrender monkey.
14. Lee Jones – I’m all for giving youth a chance, but not when they look like they’re 12.
13. Fergus McFadden – still trying to tackle George North in his nightmares.
12. Nick De Luca - 2 yellow cards was about the sum of his contribution. Keith Earls a close second for Olympic diving audition.
11. David Strettle – Geoffrey Boycott's mother would have scored that try against Wales.
10. Lionel Beauxis - shocking, even worse than Kris Burton, and that's saying something.
9. Julien Dupuy - dreadful selection by Saint-Andre, truly dreadful.
1. Alan Jacobsen – being fat and belligerent is not enough (I should know).
2. Dimitri Szarzewski – beautiful hair, nowt else to say.
3. Matt Stevens – nose candy must have affected his ears as he obviously can't hear the referee.
4. Bradley Davies – a career as a cage fighter beckons.
5. Jim Hamilton - eclipsed throughout by lock partner and ended in yellow card ignominy.
6. Julien Bonnaire - sad end to a distinguished international career.
7. Sean O’Brien – not an openside and it showed.
8. Jamie Heaslip – a pale shadow of his former self.


6 comments:

Nursedude said...

I cannot agree more about Beauxis. He should not be allowed to even wear a French Supporters jersey anymore. Unbelievably brutal tournament.

Gareth said...

Whilst I agree about SOB and Heaslip in terms of standards I think it was a little harsh to include them, unless of course you are measuring their contribution relative to what it ought to have been.

Darcy must thank the day that Ma DeLuca told her boy that he could be a tasty rugby player. Such shortsightedness kept Darce out of this selection......just

If Hartley did bite then he is fast becoming a rugby liability, as well as a class one knob.

Total Flanker said...

Yes, with SOB and Heaslip it was partly down to them performing way below expectations, and also down to the fact that the backrows in this 6N were on the whole very impressive.

And I agree on Hartley - IF he's guilty he'll deserve a long ban, but I still wonder what Ferris' finger was doing in his mouth - no doubt we'll find out soon enough.

tim said...

cuthbert north and lydiate english you wish

Samuel said...

Should probably mention how Morgan is Welsh, just to even things up...

Total Flanker said...

Except that Morgan is totally English - although he plays for Llanelli he was born in Bristol, raised in Gloucestershire etc...he does have a Welsh surname though!

My comments on the Englishness of the Welsh team are, believe me, made firmly with tongue in cheek, although it is odd how many of the current crop were born this side of the Severn.

Of them all only Cuthbert can really be called English - he even has the Gloucs accent - but as far as I am aware he was never on England's radar, more's the pity.