Tuesday, 4 February 2014

The Secret Diary of Jack Nowell’s Barnet


Tuesday 4th Feb 2014.

Hi. Jack Nowell’s hair here.

Back in training now after the disappointments of Saturday. Not only a defeat, but also stuck inside that awful yellow scrumcap all game.
I keep telling him: ‘What’s the point in having such a beautiful Barnet if you hide it away inside that yellow monstrosity?’
One thing’s for certain, I wouldn’t have let young Jack drop that kick off if I’d been freed from my sweaty incarceration.

I’m also damned sure he wouldn’t have cramped up towards the end of the match and that Fickou kid would just have been too intimidated by my magnificence to score that last gasp try.

It’s really the people of Paris I feel sorry for. Yes, their team won, but they must be devastated that they were denied the opportunity to feast their eyes on my splendour.

Still, I am currently flowing wild and free as we train at Pennyhill Park, doing my best to ignore the admiring glances I’m receiving from young Jack’s team mates and the coaching staff.

Next stop Edinburgh and an opportunity for those poor Scots to wonder at my majesty…