Friday, 18 September 2009

The Waka

It has emerged today that, following a reprimand for making inappropriate gestures against Bath last weekend, Wasps' David Lemi has been commissioned by the club to develop a Wasps-centric version of the Haka for the team to perform before Guinness Premiership matches at Adams Park this season.

The Samoan international will, we understand, develop "the Waka" (as it is tentatively being called) with choreographer Arlene Phillips, former judge on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing.

The ritual dance is said to involve considerable amounts of buzzing and is set to conclude with a middle-fingered salute, representing a 'sting in the tail' finale.

Kiwi Tony Hanks, Wasps Director of Rugby commented: "we're confident that the Waka will give the club a competitive edge, and it'll give David something to do while he recovers from his wrist injury."

A Maori spokesman and expert in kapa haka confirmed that although he hadn't seen or heard anything about the Waka, it was nevertheless almost certainly an affront to Maori culture. "This never-ending exploitation of the Haka denigrates our culture," he commented, "and we'll be studying the Waka closely to make sure that our intellectual property rights are not infringed. You never know, we could make a few dollars out of it."


Leonidas said...

Ya do know waka is maori for "mode of transport" most commonly used to describe canoe's, and is currently being used to describe rice rocket jap imports brought on 21% finance?.

Anonymous said...

Thank You! You have made my day! Splendid!